I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
