yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So squirting runs in the family.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
