Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
