i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
