He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
