if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
