last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
