The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
