Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
