Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
