on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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