PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
