it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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