they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
