there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
How external is "for external use only"?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Naked. naked and bneed help.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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