I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
