You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
