Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
