Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
