Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
send nudes
from the living room?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
