He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
