Christians are straight up FREAKS
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
