I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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