You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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