Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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