But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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