Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
