Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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