The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
