did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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