no. you can't hotbox the world.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
