My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
