why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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