she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
