That's intense
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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