I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
