Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
