how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
