Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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