Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I looked at my own cervix.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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