i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You ruined the universe
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
