And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
How does it feel to date your dad?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
