how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
