And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
