you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize
