at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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