i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
