my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
