I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
