So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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