glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
