I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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