I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
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