If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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